It’s the Pitts: Putting on the Dog

by Lee Pitts

The biggest change in the animal world during my 74 years has been our attitude towards dogs. It’s now a common sight to see dogs running around with people chained to them whose sole purpose is to pick up the dog’s poop.

You see more jet-setting dogs in airplanes, whereas 60 years ago, you often heard of pets flying in the baggage compartment and freezing to death.

Today in order for a dog to fly, it must be in a kennel large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over. This is more space than the passengers get. 

After a tiring flight, the dog can get an at-home neck and shoulder massage or acupuncture. It can even go to a spa – dogs are more spa oriented than cats.

There’s now an entire industry of dog clippers who can make a poodle look like a topiary hedge in some billionaire’s botanical garden.

I have a friend who owns a chain of pet stores offering self-service bathing facilities for dogs. I don’t think I’ve ever washed any of my dogs more than three times in their life, and when I did, it was probably because they tangoed with a skunk. 

I could never see the point in washing a dog only to see it roll in a pile of cow manure afterwards.

It used to be the social order of dogs was determined by how high on a fence post or utility pole they could pee, whereas now social status amongst dogs is determined by their name.

Seventy years ago, dogs were given simple monikers like Lady, Spot, Bear, Blue, Buddy or Bandit. Fido was the perfect name for a dog – Fido meaning “faithful” in Latin. Whenʼs the last time you heard of a dog named Fido?

Nowadays, they are more apt to have registration papers with names like Benjamin Rock-A-Feller III or Queen Amanda of Omaha. Even common mutts are now called Britney, Brandy, Buffy or Snoop Dog.

Growing up, I can’t remember seeing a dog being pushed in a baby carriage or in a doggie trailer pulled by a bicycle, nor was I ever invited to a dog’s birthday party. 

You didn’t kiss your dog back then because you knew what your cowdog had been eating and that a dog’s mouth was one big Disneyland for bacteria. 

Now people take their dogs everywhere with them. It’s a common sight to see dogs in restaurants, and I was shocked the first time I saw a dog in a grocery store. Dogs are even welcomed inside banks – just as long as they don’t leave a deposit.

It takes a lot more money now to raise a dog than it used to. I saw one estimate saying it cost $10,000 over the course of a dog’s life of 11 years. I bet I’ve had over 10 dogs in my life, and I only paid cash for one of them. 

Dogs used to be given away, and if yours had pups before you could get her spayed, it was very hard to find homes for all of the pups. Now, a good cowdog can cost $12,000, and most dogs in the classified ads are offered for between $500 and $2,500.

You can’t let a dog like that sleep on an old tarp, so now almost every dog has a bed bigger than the one I had as a child. 

Another high cost of raising a dog is the special food they’re now fed. As a youngster, we bought dog food in 50-pound sacks of Purina Dog Chow, which was always stacked in the front of the grocery store. 

Now, most folks buy dog food at stores specializing in more expensive dog food, and our pets are healthier and live longer as a result.

History is being repeated with these cute little purse dogs that sit on their matron’s lap. 

In the Victorian era in Europe, it was a big status symbol for socialites to have the most expensive dog sit on the grand dame’s lap. This is where we get the phrase “putting on the dog.”

Just once I’d like to see one of these high-society snobs with a $16,000 snarling Australian shepherd cowdog in her lap.