The Farmer’s Field: The Blame Game
The blame game – it’s everywhere these days. Thiry years ago, I would have never imagined a world so full of so many people who are unwilling to take responsibility for their own actions or inactions.
Furthermore, I would never have imagined a world where so many things seem to always be someone else’s fault.
Deflect the blame. That seems to be the game. In fact, it’s become so much of the norm, I’ve begun to address it in many of my seminars and writings, including in my last book, “Make Your OWN Way.”
Can you believe I once had someone blame me for “costing them several hundred thousand dollars?” Of course, they didn’t tell me that, just everyone else in the community. And now, somehow, I’m a horrible person in their eyes.
What this person was referring to was my offer on a piece of real estate on the open market, because the seller chose not to take this person’s original offer on a first right of refusal which was for less than one-half of what the seller was asking for the property.
As a result, if this person wanted the property, they would have to at least match my offer. Now it’s my fault, I see.
If you’re breathing, I’d be certain you’ve had similar experiences as well. I can’t help but ask myself why the world seems to be so full of excuse-makers and blame-pushers.
In the world I grew up in, one didn’t blame others for their mistakes. And what’s more, even when others might actually be to blame, you accepted at least mutual responsibility, even when it was clearly not your mistake. You embraced each situation with moral courage, a strong sense of responsibility and acted in all circumstances with decency and respect.
Unfortunately for many today, I find this to be quite contrary.
What’s happened to cause our society to move in such a direction?
Is it because parents aren’t holding their own children accountable because the repercussions might be painful? Is it because our teachers have been mandated to “leave no child behind,” despite their lack of understanding or competency in a subject matter?
Is it because employers are scared to fire toxic, lazy or non-performing employees because of the fear of retribution related to false claims of racism or discrimination?
Is it because the world has taught us doing what feels good is more important than doing what is right?
Is it because when we disagree or are intimidated by others, we stir up trouble on social media, but do so anonymously? Is it because we are so addicted to what everyone else is doing on social media, we forget to take care of our own “side of the fence?”
Is it because society has become so infatuated with who has more or who makes more, we have neglected to realize our egos and our desire for power are shaping our lives more than ever?
And has this infatuation twisted our minds so perversely we have forgotten the priorities and importance of meaningful relationships which are the foundation of thriving homes, schools and communities?
Is it because we spend more time talking and gloating than we do listening and understanding? Is it because we spend more time planning for vacations and retirement than we do living in the present?
Is it because our desires lie more in building our balance sheets than they do in making a positive impact on the lives of others?
Is it because we have forgotten, in all our busyness and selfishness, the biggest gift to mankind came from a servant leader who sacrificed his life so we could all be forgiven of our iniquities?
Honestly, it’s probably at least a portion of all of the above.
It’s true. None of us are perfect, and there aren’t any of us who aren’t guilty of blaming others or deflecting blame away from ourselves.
Our failure as a society doesn’t rest in the fact none of us are blameless. Our failure as a society rests in the fact we fail to recognize and admit when we are to blame.
It’s okay to make mistakes. This is not the issue. The issue is owning up to it when we do. The issue is recognizing the fact our own ideas might not actually be the best ones, our own competence just might not be enough and our own actions might not always accurately reflect who we are or who we want to be.
We should all strive to gain enough emotional intelligence so we can recognize the world does not – and should not – revolve around us and all of our perceived “greatness.”
Beyond recognizing none of us are blameless, the way we can step away from the blame game is to set our eyes upon the greater good. This means taking our eyes off of ourselves and our own selfish wants and demands.
Our focus should be to help find solutions through listening, understanding and cooperation. And this, I am sure, is something we can ALL do.
Ron Rabou is president of Rabou Farms, Inc. in southeastern Wyoming, a nationally known author and speaker and co-host of the nationally-syndicated podcast AgInspo. For more information, visit raboufarms.com.
