BTW, Santa

By Lynn Harlan 

Does Santa have an iPhone 

or is he an Android guy? 

Did he send an elf 

or go himself 

Down to the local Best Buy…  

where he stood in line for hours,  

Until they called him, “Next!” 

BTW, dear Santa, do you often text? 

IDK, but it’d be handy 

on his Christmas run 

If he could send a note ASAP 

to Mrs. Claus, “I’m done!” 

NVM, he might have to type, 

“I’m stuck in chimney 108” 

“TBH,” sends Mrs. Claus 

“You’ve got to watch your weight.” 

“FWIW,” she continues, 

“All those cookies got you stuck – 

I’ll send an elf NP 

unless you can DIY.” 

“TTYL,” types Mrs. Claus. 

“LMK how it turns out 

I’ll be here with your lo-cal beer 

to toast the end of your route.” 

“BRB,” Santa sends. 

“As soon as I get out 

At EOD – TIA 

for being my loving lookout.” 

If you’re ROFL 

at Santa’s predicament 

You’d better hope he got unstuck, 

or this years’ toys won’t be sent. 

A FAQ 

by folks of all shapes and sizes 

“Is Santa Claus real?” 

Because IMHO 

It’s what he symbolizes 

that hopefully 

Lives in us all 

faith, love and wonderment 

ICYMI on Christmas Day 

A small child’s look of enchantment. 

Santa’s texting slang 

BTW – by the way 

IDK – I don’t know 

ASAP – as soon as possible 

NVM – never mind 

TBH – to be honest 

FWIW – for what it’s worth 

NP – no problem 

DIY – do it yourself 

TTYL – talk to you later 

LMK – let me know 

BRB – be right back 

EOD – end of day 

TIA – thanks in advance 

ROFL – rolling on floor laughing 

FAQ – frequently asked question 

IMHO – in my humble opinion 

ICYMI – in case you missed it