Advice From the Seat of an Old Tractor…

“Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.” 

“Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.”

“Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.”

“A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.”

“Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.”

“Meanness don’t just happen overnight.”

“Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.”

“Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.”

“It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.”

“You cannot unsay a cruel word.”

“Every path has a few puddles.”

“When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.”

“The best sermons are lived, not preached.”

“Most of the stuff people worry about, ain’t never gonna happen anyway.”

“Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

“Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”

“Live a good and honorable life. Then, when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.”

“Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.”

“Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.”

“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.”

“Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.”

“The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.”

“Always drink upstream from the herd.”

“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.”

“Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.”

“If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.”

“Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and leave the rest to God.”

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just beat you to death with his cane.”

And remember, “Some days all you can do is smile and wait for some kind soul to come pull your fanny out of the bind you’ve gotten yourself into.”

This advice was printed years ago in a local publication and still applies today. The author is unknown, but you can bet your bottom dollar he had spent a lot of time on the cold, hard, steel seat of an old tractor. As the cowboy saying goes, If it ain’t all true now, it surely will be someday.”

Or as I brag on my historical tours, “I’ll tell you a lot of stories, and a few will even be true.”

And most important, make every effort to shop at home and support the good merchants in your hometown.